Wednesday, August 19

Jaideep Malik pe Nibandh Bhag-1(especially for DoMS 2K7 Junta!!)

Jaideep Malik: Subject of this essay- A friend from IITM, a careLESS Libran and a ?? investment banker!!
Below depicted are few of his traits through some situations/ anecdotes.

A telephonic conversation with Jdp
In the past two years since we have come to Bangalore invariably, without fail every conversation with Jdp has had the same beginning. He is ISO 9001 certified when it comes to phone conversations.
Me: Hello
Jdp: Hello..(in a surprised tone..since according to him these days nobody except his Mom and Credit card people call him)
Me: Hello, main bol rahi hun Katrina Kaif (KK is replaced by a new name every time depending on my mood, followed by my trademark laugh)
Jdp: achcha han bolo… (recognizing my voice)
Me: Kahan hai? (sensing some background noise, ladka shayad ghar pe nahi hai)
Jdp: Main ..hmm….main na abhi office mein hun..I’ll call you back in 20 min (CALL BACK: this word does not exist in my dictionary…:))
After 1-1.5 hr:
Me: Hello
Jdp: Oh..Hi
Me: Tu ghar pahunch gaya? (agitated)
Jdp: han ….bas abhi pahuncha hun
Me: Tune call kyun nahi kiya (totally sad ke)
Jdp: he he (no he is not laughing, he says “he he”), main..hmm….hmmm…
Me: Useless
Jdp: Aur bata..kya nayi gossip….
Whether you are trying to reach him in an SOS situation or just to share the latest gossip, the conversation WILL always start like this only. It is IMPOSSIBLE to reach him in the first call.

The words No/ Nahin do not exist in Jdp’s universe
May 2007. We all are at home before our joinings in June beginning/ mid. One fine day towards end of this break, I am chatting with Jdp
Me: Teri joining kab hai?
Jdp: June 4th, teri?
Me: Meri bhi, tune tickets kara liye?
Jdp: No, karani hai
Me: Hmm, I might get my joining delayed, but tu karane se pehle bata diyo..
Jdp: Theek hai, done. I’ll call you..:) (the assurance in that "Done" is to be noticed!!)

After few days my Dad asks “ Tumne Blore jaane ke tickets kara liye”, “Nahi Papa”.
Papa: “tum akele jaoge Bangalore?”
Me: “Nahi papa, mera dost hai Jdp, uski bhi joining 4th ko hai, to usne bola hai vo mujhe bata dega tickets karane se pehle”....”vaise knowing him, i doubt use batana yaad rahega, vo mujh se bhi zyada lazy hai”
Papa: “Oh achcha, to tum un doston ki tarah ho” and he narrates the following incident which has me in splits...:D
दो दोस्त होते हैं; काफी आलसी १ दोस्त १ बार दूसरे को १ चिट्ठी देता है पोस्ट करने के लिए १ महीने बाद, वो उससे जाके पूछता है, की भाई तुमने मेरी चिट्ठी पोस्ट कर दी थी? तो दूसरा बोलता है, बड़ी शान से....यार अगर तुम्हे इतनी ही जल्दी है, तो खुद कर लो पोस्ट ..:D
Needless to say, Jdp never called, to ask for the flight booking. The next i heard from him was after a month of coming to Bangalore. (I had to call aunty in Delhi to get his Blore number, which i had by chance saved some time.)

Going a bit down memory lane…MBA 1st quarter….We all are just a couple of weeks old friends and are totally unaware of each others laziness and carelessness quotient!! Its our 1st quarter 1st term papers:
Me: tere paas XYZ notes hain?
Jdp: (In a typical animated gesture of thinking)…Yesss!!
Me: theek hai, shaam ko xerox kara ke le aayega mere liye?
Jdp: Done (very assuringly)
Me: 5 baje?? (very relaxed, Yess!!, kitne actrive dost banaye hain MBA mein aake….)
Jdp: Theek hai (even more assuringly this time)
Me is very happy…shaam dhal ke raat hone ko aayi!!, Chennai mein baarish, the whole class has same subsidized Vodafone connection; due to rains no network!!, so Jdp’s phone not reachable….
At around 10 in the night, soul savior Baba is seen strolling outside Sharav (with another guy- who could be Karan, commander, KC..options are many!!).
Me: Jdp kahan hai?
Baba: Tune usko notes kahe they Xerox karane ko?? (in his trademark “know all” smile)
Me: Han, hai kahan vo gadha…x-( (in a totally irritated tone)
Baba: Ha ha ha (laughs hysterically)
Me: offo hans kyun rahe ho…batao na.. (agitated max)
Baba: ye le notes (hands over notes to me), Jdp ke bhi humi ne karaye hain….vo kahin soya pada hoga hostel mein….
Me: :O (baffled)
Baba: Hume pata tha usne 1-2 ko promise kiya hoga, ye extra kara liye the humne isilye…..
Me: :O..:O..:O

PS: Baba and Jdp have studied together in school..:); hence Baba has the “early knowing” advantage here..:P
to be continued....

195 people have something to say...:

Serenity said...

chal atleast smbody is lazier than u :-)

United Colors of Friendship said...

Jaideep Malik aur uski Airtel ki woh safed t-shirt...aaj bhi yaad hai mere ko!! pehan pehan kar grey ho gayi...(Jaideep ko credit dena chahiye ki usne us t-shirt ko is prakaar pehna ki woh uniformly grey ho gayi!! koi kah nahi sakta thaa ki woh gandi thee!) aur uski cycle...jo usko suddenly ek saal bad yaad aayi ki woh to usko purane hoste main hi bhool aaya hai! fir usko sahi karwane ke liye 300 rs. kharch kiye!!
Mrs. Dravid (aka Deepti) aur JD ka purana yaarana hai!! heard that sayin birds of a feather flock together? yahaan to aisa prateet hota thaa jaise dono birds ek hi ande se nikli hon!! alasya main dono ek jaise!!
aur vidhi ke vidhaan ko dekhiye!! dono naukri bhi ek hi shahar main karte hain!! Bangalore ka to alasya quotient sudenly badh gaya hoga!! :)

United Colors of Friendship said...

But tell u what Mrs. Dravid (for the uninitiated- Deepti is a big fan of Rahul Dravid and was very heartbroken when he got married….she must have leapt out of bed on hearing that he was recalled in the India ODI team) amazing work!!
Have u ever given a thought to the fact that you have all the materials in u to be a writer?

Saurabh Suri said...

apne ko foul faviour sunke baba khufh hua!!

Ajay said...

Your Dad tells the best and most apt jokes :)
And about Jdp, he wouldn't be an investment banker if he was that easily reachable na :)

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